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Joshua Center
on Child Sexual Abuse Prevention
Understanding Youth Sexual Behavior

During adolescence many youth begin to explore sexual interests and engage in sexual behaviors with other youth. While before high school most youth (80-90%) have not had sex,1 about half of youth aged 15-19 have.2 This is usually not abuse. Adults who understand the difference between behaviors that are common in youth and behaviors that would be considered problematic, or even abusive, are better equipped to have conversations with youth about sexual behavior and body boundaries.

Understanding youth sexual behavior prepares adults to have conversations with youth about sexuality and body boundaries.

Having these conversations is an important tool for child sexual abuse prevention, as they can help youth identify problematic behavior in sexual partners, learn to disclose experiences of abuse, and learn to avoid engaging in problematic sexual behavior themselves (see Talking to Youth about Child Sexual Abuse). 
 
In this section we will cover:

Factors that Influence Youth Engagement in Sex 

A range of factors can influence whether a youth is sexually active. Noticing these influences around your child does not necessarily mean that they are having sex, but more importantly, may serve as another indicator to you that conversations around sexual behavior and body boundaries are warranted.
 
Individual-level factors like youths’ pubertal development, attitudes toward sex, and own behaviors such as dating or substance use can affect the likelihood that they are sexually active, as can social and cultural factors like the quality of their relationships, and the “messages” they receive about sex from their caregivers, friends, or media.
 
Youth are more likely to engage in sex if they have: 

  • Greater physical maturity3
  • Attitudes permissive of sex3 
  • Involvement in dating behavior3 
  • Current alcohol use34
  • Symptoms of depression (in girls)3 
  • Peer norms permissive of sex3567
  • Friends who use substances3
  • Exposure to media that contain sexual content or are permissive of teen sexual behavior, such as television, movies, magazines, or music (particularly with degrading sexual lyrics)8910
  • A weaker connection with their caregivers (including poorer felt quality of the relationship, less time spent together, and less parental monitoring)3611
  • A history of any type of maltreatment (physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, or neglect)12
  • A living arrangement with caregivers other than two biological parents3 

As you maintain an awareness of these influences, some of which are typical aspects of adolescence today, you can address them in conversation with your youth before and/or after they arise. “Naming” these influences and using them as discussion topics can open up conversations about body boundaries and sexual behavior with your youth.

“Naming” these influences and using them as discussion topics can open up conversations about body boundaries and sexual behavior with your youth.

Common Sexual Behavior in Youth

The high school years are when youth commonly begin to engage in sexual behavior. While only about 7% of youth report having had intercourse specifically before age 13, almost half of youth (43-47%) will have had intercourse by the end of high school.13 

Almost half of youth (43-47%) will have had intercourse by the end of high school.

Among youth who have had intercourse, the average age at first experience is 14.4 years.13
 
Youth report the following rates of engagement in sexual behavior:

  • About 1 in 5 ninth graders have had oral sex (18% of males, 21% of females)1
  • More than 1 in 10 ninth graders have had intercourse (14% of males, 13% of females)1
  • About 1 in 2 youth ages 15 to 19 have had oral sex (49% of males, 48% of females)2
  • Almost 1 in 2 youth ages 15 to 19 have had intercourse (44% of males and 47% of females2

Although it may not be thought of as a sexual behavior, watching pornography is another common behavior among youth, particularly boys. More than nine in ten boys (93%) and nearly two-thirds of girls (62%) are exposed to online pornography before age 18.14

More than nine in ten boys and nearly two-thirds of girls are exposed to online pornography before age 18.

One study found that more than a third of 16 and 17 year-old boys (38%) had intentionally visited an online pornography site in the past year.15 Like other sexually explicit media, pornography can be a powerful agent of sexual socialization through the “messages” it sends about sex. For example, there is evidence that pornography use is linked to holding attitudes and beliefs that condone sexual violence16 and may even increase sexually aggressive behaviors.1718 For more information, see Pornography and Sexual Violence.
 
For caregivers, acknowledging that your youth is or may be becoming sexual can be difficult or uncomfortable. Having conversations with your youth about body boundaries, consent, and the harmful effects of pornography use can provide them with information that may help them identify, and move to stop, inappropriate touch by sexual partners as well as by themselves. 

Having conversations with your youth about body boundaries, consent, and the harmful effects of pornography use can provide them with information that may help them identify, and move to stop, inappropriate touch by sexual partners as well as by themselves. 

For more information on pornography, youths’ use of pornography, and the impact of pornography use, see: 

  • Online pornography (webpage) - Provides general information on pornography and youths' use of it
  • The hard-to-have conversations (webpage) - Addresses how to talk to children and teens about pornography use
  • Online porn (webpage) - Provides advice on to help parents and caregivers understand the risks and talk to youth about online porn 
  • Parents of teens (webpage) - Covers the effects of porn use on adolescents and talking to youth about porn

 Problematic Sexual Behavior in Youth

It is important for caregivers to be aware that children are at risk of engaging in problematic sexual behavior as well as being the recipients of abuse. A significant portion – 23-35% – of reported sexual offenses against children are in fact perpetrated by other children or adolescents.1920 It can be challenging to address this issue, partially because it is difficult to imagine that children or adolescents are capable of sexually harming others.
 
Youth, especially younger children, may engage in inappropriate sexual behaviors with other children without comprehending the nature of what they are doing, and without relation to sexual gratification or stimulation.21 What sexual behavior is considered problematic differs among children ages 6 to 12 versus adolescents. Sexual behavior problems in younger children are more heterogeneous, but are persistent and developmentally atypical.22
 
Problematic sexual behaviors in adolescents are those that occur: 

  • Illegally, and/or23 
  • Between children of widely different ages or developmental stages (such as a 15 year old with a 12 year old), and/or2324 
  • Without consent23 

Problematic sexual behaviors in children (ages 6 to 12) include sexual behaviors that are: 

  • Unexpectedly frequent, and/or2123
  • Coercive, and/or2123
  • Between children of widely different ages or developmental stages (such as a 12 year old with an 8 year old), and/or2123
  • Resistant to caregiver intervention, and/or2123
  • Interferent with the child’s development, and/or2123
  • Emotionally distressing to the other child2123

In contrast, natural sexual curiosity and exploration in children is spontaneous, intermittent, not emotionally distressing, not a preoccupation, and when involving other children is mutual and noncoercive.21 Having some curiosity, behavior, and interest related to private parts and sexual stimulation in childhood is developmentally normal.21 It is critical to talk to youth about body boundaries so that they can enforce their own, but also so that they respect the boundaries of others.

It is critical to talk to youth about body boundaries so that they can enforce their own, but also so that they respect the boundaries of others.

If you notice your child engaging in concerning sexual behavior that does not change when you set clear expectations (such as touching other children’s private parts or interacting with peers in sexual ways that cause the other child distress), the situation may require professional support.
 
For more information on normative, age appropriate sexual behaviors and knowledge in youth, see: 

  • Sexual Development and Behavior in Children (PDF) - Addresses youth ages less than 4, 4-6, and 7-12. Describes child sexual development, how to respond to sexual behaviors, and how to educate children about sexual development and safety by age group.
  • Normative Sexual Behavior (website) - Addresses youth ages 3-5, 6-12, and 13-19. Describes age appropriate sexual behaviors and knowledge, and sibling sexual experiences.

For more information on problematic sexual behaviors in youth, see:

  • 1. a. b. c. Halpern-Felsher, B. L., Cornell, J. L., Kropp, R. Y., & Tschann, J. M. (2005). Oral versus vaginal sex among adolescents: Perceptions, attitudes, and behavior. Pediatrics, 115(4), 845-851.
  • 2. a. b. c. Copen, C. E., Chandra, A., & Martinez, G. (2012). Prevalence and timing of oral sex with opposite-sex partners among females and males aged 15-24 years: United States, 2007-2010. US Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics.
  • 3. a. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i. Zimmer-Gembeck, M. J., & Helfand, M. (2008). Ten years of longitudinal research on US adolescent sexual behavior: Developmental correlates of sexual intercourse, and the importance of age, gender and ethnic background. Developmental review, 28(2), 153-2.
  • 4. Cooper, M. L. (2002). Alcohol use and risky sexual behavior among college students and youth: evaluating the evidence. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, supplement, (14), 101-117.
  • 5. Buhi, E. R., & Goodson, P. (2007). Predictors of adolescent sexual behavior and intention: A theory-guided systematic review. Journal of adolescent health, 40(1), 4-21.
  • 6. a. b. L'Engle, K. L., & Jackson, C. (2008). Socialization influences on early adolescents' cognitive susceptibility and transition to sexual intercourse. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 18(2), 353-378.
  • 7. Whitaker, D. J., & Miller, K. S. (2000). Parent-adolescent discussions about sex and condoms: Impact on peer influences of sexual risk behavior. Journal of Adolescent research, 15(2), 251-273.
  • 8. L’Engle, K. L., Brown, J. D., & Kenneavy, K. (2006). The mass media are an important context for adolescents’ sexual behavior. Journal of Adolescent Health, 38(3), 186-192.
  • 9. Collins, R. L., Elliott, M. N., Berry, S. H., Kanouse, D. E., Kunkel, D., Hunter, S. B., & Miu, A. (2004). Watching sex on television predicts adolescent initiation of sexual behavior. Pediatrics, 114(3), e280-e289.
  • 10. Martino, S. C., Collins, R. L., Elliott, M. N., Strachman, A., Kanouse, D. E., & Berry, S. H. (2006). Exposure to degrading versus nondegrading music lyrics and sexual behavior among youth. Pediatrics, 118(2), e430-e441.
  • 11. Deptula, D. P., Henry, D. B., & Schoeny, M. E. (2010). How can parents make a difference? Longitudinal associations with adolescent sexual behavior. Journal of Family Psychology, 24(6), 731–739. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021760
  • 12. Black, M. M., Oberlander, S. E., Lewis, T., Knight, E. D., Zolotor, A. J., Litrownik, A. J., ... & English, D. E. (2009). Sexual intercourse among adolescents maltreated before age 12: A prospective investigation. Pediatrics, 124(3), 941-949.
  • 13. a. b. Cavazos-Rehg, P. A., Krauss, M. J., Spitznagel, E. L., Schootman, M., Bucholz, K. K., Peipert, J. F., ... & Bierut, L. J. (2009). Age of sexual debut among US adolescents. Contraception, 80(2), 158-162.
  • 14. Sabina, C., Wolak, J., & Finkelhor, D. (2008). The nature and dynamics of Internet pornography exposure for youth. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 11(6), 691-693.
  • 15. Wolak, J., Mitchell, K., & Finkelhor, D. (2007). Unwanted and wanted exposure to online pornography in a national sample of youth Internet users. Pediatrics, 119(2), 247-257.
  • 16. Hald, G. M., Malamuth, N. M., & Yuen, C. (2010). Pornography and attitudes supporting violence against women: Revisiting the relationship in nonexperimental studies. Aggressive Behavior: Official Journal of the International Society for Research on Aggression, 36(1), 14-20.
  • 17. Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., & Kraus, A. (2016). A meta-analysis of pornography consumption and actual acts of sexual aggression in general population studies. Journal of Communication, 66(1), 183-205.
  • 18. Ferguson, C. J., & Hartley, R. D. (2020). Pornography and sexual aggression: can meta-analysis find a link?. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 1524838020942754.
  • 19. Bureau of Justice Statistics. (2000). Sexual assault of young people as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics. U.S. Department of Justice: Snyder, H.N. Retrieved from: https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/saycrle.pdf
  • 20. Finkelhor, D., Ormrod, R., & Chaffin, M. (2009). Juveniles Who Commit Sex Offenses Against Minors. Juvenile justice bulletin.
  • 21. a. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i. Chaffin, M., Berliner, L., Block, R., Johnson, T. C., Friedrich, W. N., Louis, D. G., ... & Madden, C. (2008). Report of the ATSA task force on children with sexual behavior problems. Child maltreatment, 13(2), 199-218.
  • 22. Carpentier, M. Y., Silovsky, J. F., & Chaffin, M. (2006). Randomized trial of treatment for children with sexual behavior problems: ten-year follow-up. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(3), 482.
  • 23. a. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i. Letourneau, E. J., Schoenwald, S. K., & Sheidow, A. J. (2004). Children and adolescents with sexual behavior problems. Child maltreatment, 9(1), 49-61.
  • 24. NCSBY. (n.d.). Problematic sexual behaviors. National Center on Sexual Behavior in Youth. http://www.ncsby.org/content/problematic-sexual-behavior

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