Identifying and responding to child sexaul abuse are critical to a child’s safety and well-being. Both identifying and responding to CSA are also important elements of prevention, as effectively identifying and responding to abuse can prevent further abuse from occurring.
In this section, we will cover:
Identifying Child Sexual Abuse
Children may indicate in direct and indirect ways that they are being abused or in a situation that can lead to abuse. What constitutes a direct communication for a child may not seem very clear to adults.
Children may indicate in direct and indirect ways that they are being abused or in a situation that can lead to abuse.
A child may voice a negative opinion about a place or person that previously the child was positive about. When the child’s feelings seem to change about a person or place it is important not to insist that the child continue activity as usual, but to explore further why the child’s feelings have changed about the person or place. It may be because of abuse or some other factor.
When a child’s opinion of a place or person changes or is negative, you can ask general, open-ended questions such as:
- “Why do you feel differently now?”
- “What happens at their house?”
- “What about your time at youth group makes you not want to go?”
At times children will disclose having been abused or in an at-risk situation when asked about experiences they had with a person or place. Vague answers to the question “how was your time?” like “fine” or “okay” should be followed up with general questions that invite the child to say more, such as “what did you do?”
Indirect communications are disguised messages in which the child’s attitude or behavior indicates that something has changed, may be wrong, or is worrying the child.
Behavioral indicators of abuse
Disclosure, or the process of a young person coming to tell others about being sexually abused or at risk of being sexually abused, can be characterized as clear or vague. While some children disclose clearly, others do not. A child’s behavior can also indicate they are experiencing abuse or another negative event.
A child’s behavior can also indicate they are experiencing abuse or another negative event.
These behaviors can include:
- Any dramatic change in behavior (for example, changes in hygiene like refusing to bathe or bathing excessively)
- Onset of depression, nightmares, anxiety, fearfulness, or withdrawal
- Developmentally inappropriate knowledge about sexual behavior
- Deterioration in behavior often characteristic of a younger stage of development
- Reluctance to go to a place or with a person where there had been no reluctance previously
These behaviors and non-verbal indicators are not themselves disclosures, but can alert adults in the child’s life to critical changes experienced by the child. While many things besides abuse can cause sudden behavioral change, these signs indicate that it is important to talk to the child about their experiences.
Facilitating disclosure
If you suspect that a child may have experienced sexual abuse, know that being prompted or asked directly about possible abuse experiences is the most effective way to facilitate disclosure.1
Being prompted or asked directly about possible abuse experiences is the most effective way to facilitate disclosure.
This is especially true if the disclosure is received by someone the child trusts, indicating that close relationships may also play an important role in facilitating disclosure. Other factors that support disclosure include providing the child positive emotional support and ensuring that they do not feel guilt or shame.
For more information on child sexual abuse disclosure, see How and when do youth disclose abuse?.
Responding to Child Sexual Abuse
If you suspect your child may be experiencing abuse, you can:
- Ask open ended questions such as “What’s wrong?”, “Did something happen?”, “Is there something that you want or need me to know?”
- Show your concern (“I’ve noticed you’ve been really quiet lately, is anything going on?” or “You’ve been seeming really upset lately, has anything changed or is anything bothering you?”)
- Make it clear that they won’t be in trouble for telling you what is bothering them
- Offer for them to talk to another trusted adult if they are afraid to tell you something
- Assure them that you are there to help, and that you can support them even if something bad is happening to them
When a child tells you about an instance of non-consensual sexual touch, it is normal to feel overwhelmed or upset. It is extremely important to stay calm and believe the child, even if you are in shock. They may be gauging your reaction to see if you are a safe person to tell.
It is extremely important to stay calm and believe the child, even if you are in shock.
In responding to a disclosure of abuse it is important to:
- Listen carefully and calmly, making sure the child feels as safe as possible
- Let the child explain what happened to them in their own words, on their own terms. Do not rush to conclusions and do not make assumptions
- Ask open-ended questions such as “what happened next?” or “tell me more about that”
- Be affirming and let the child know they have done the right thing by telling you, and reassure the child that they are not to blame for the abuse
- Finally, offer your support to the child and let them know you will take concrete steps to ensure that the abuse stops
- Keep thinking to yourself “I will fall apart later. Right now my child needs me”
- Know it is perfectly fine and understandable to be upset and “fall apart later”
For more information on responding to child sexual abuse, see:
- What to do if your Child Discloses Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers (PDF) - Provides parents and caregivers with information about a child disclosing sexual abuse, including what you should do if you suspect your child has been sexually abused, what to do if children take back the disclosure, and how to cope with your feelings
- Age-Related Reactions to a Traumatic Event (PDF) - Describes how young children, school-age children, and adolescents react to traumatic events and offers suggestions on how parents and caregivers can help and support them
- Tips for Parents, Guardians, and Family Members (webpage) - Provides families with information on how to support a survivor of sexual abuse or assault
Reporting Child Sexual Abuse
After abuse has been discovered or disclosed, it is important to take necessary precautions to ensure that the child is as safe as possible.
If the abuse is within the family, you can report it to the local Child Protection Agency. If the abuse has occurred outside the family, you can report it to the police. You cannot be prosecuted if reporting in good faith. After a report is made, agencies will conduct an investigation and take action to protect the child.
You can also call the National Child Abuse Hotline at [1-800-4-A-CHILD] or [1-800-422-4453] for information or questions regarding child abuse, including requests for local resources. This resource is available 24/7 and all calls are anonymous and confidential.
- 1. Lemaigre, C., Taylor, E. P., & Gittoes, C. (2017). Barriers and facilitators to disclosing sexual abuse in childhood and adolescence: A systematic review. Child Abuse & Neglect, 70, 39-52.