Bystanders, or witnesses to events, have been found to be present for nearly one in five (18.4%) sexual assaults, at least among adults.1 People who witness a situation in which someone is being abused, or is at risk of being abused, have an opportunity to intervene and protect the person at risk.

People who witness a situation in which someone is being abused have an opportunity to intervene.

Popular understanding is that a bystander is present but not involved in an activity (e.g, witnessing a crime). Recently the term has been extended to describe someone who is present at some situation (e.g. a party, athletic event, or at a beach), recognizes that another person is at risk or being threatened, and takes action to protect the threatened person. This is a person we call an engaged bystander. 

Being an engaged bystander

An engaged bystander is someone who attempts to intervene in, and halt, instances of potential or active violence such as sexual assault or harassment. Engaged bystanders can take a variety of actions, such as physically removing someone from a risky situation (like walking an intoxicated friend home), verbally interrupting instances of sexually violent language (such as if someone says “she deserved to be raped”), or seeking the help of authorities.

Engaged bystanders attempt to intervene in instances of potential or active violence.

How you can help protect someone as an engaged bystander

RAINN calls this C.A.R.E.

• Recognize someone who is at risk
• Directly ask the person at risk if they need help
• Do this by asking the person if they would like you to stay, or would like to go with you to do something else
• Move into the situation to distract the perpetrator to help the person at risk get to a safe place
• Do this by talking to the perpetrator, suggesting a different activity, or engaging the perpetrator in conversation which stops their actions
• Elicit the help of others who are present to stop the situation
• You can do this by getting several people to go talk to the perpetrator, disrupt their behavior, distract them, and have someone take the person at risk away from the situation
• If addition support is needed, seek help from an authority

If you know a friend who has been abused 

It can be extremely painful to learn or know that your friend has been or is being sexually abused. One of the most important forms of support you can offer is to listen, show concern, and don’t judge what your friend tells you.

Listen, show concern, and don’t judge what your friend tells you.

Understand that people who are sexually abused usually disclose the details of it slowly over time. 

You may experience a challenging situation in which your friend who has experienced abuse has asked you not to tell anyone about it. In this case, you may encourage the youth to reach out to a trusted adult, and offer to go with the youth to disclose their abuse.

Offer to go with the youth to disclose their abuse.

Benefits to disclosing (letting someone know about) abuse include:

• Abuse almost never stops without it being disclosed to others
• Many of the things that youth are afraid of happening if abuse is disclosed either will not happen or are not as bad as the sexual abuse continuing

If the perpetrator is an older person who has contact with other youth like a teacher, faith leader, coach, etc., help your friend understand that other youth may also be at risk and that reporting the abuse can protect others. 

For more information on what happens when you report abuse, see Reporting Abuse.

• 1. Hamby, S., Weber, M. C., Grych, J., & Banyard, V. (2016). What difference do bystanders make? The association of bystander involvement with victim outcomes in a community sample. Psychology of violence, 6(1), 91.