How can I protect myself from sexual abuse?

There are steps you can take to help protect yourself from abuse. These include creating and using a safety plan for risky situations, being aware of risks for abuse, and managing vulnerability associated with those risks.

Safety planning

The increased independence you may experience during adolescence comes with a heightened need to look after and take care of yourself, including by having a safety plan to protect yourself from sexual abuse. Safety plans are a collection of actions that can help you prepare for, and defensively respond to, instances where your boundaries are threatened.

Safety planning prepares you for situations where your boundaries are threatened.

The time to have a plan is before something happens.

Safety plans can include actions like the following:

Identify your boundaries
Practice saying “no” with a clear and forceful voice
Defend your boundaries even with the smallest violation
Speak up if a relationship with a friend, peer, or adult begins to change and move in directions that make you uncomfortable. Trust your feelings
Say “no” if you find yourself doing things you do not feel right about and find a way to exit the situation
Recognize that you have a right to stop someone from doing something to you, even if you allowed the behavior to happen before
If you are going out:
Know everyone you are going out with
Know where you are going before you leave to go out
Identify ways of physically exiting a space once you arrive
Have a buddy and agree on a signal to alert them that you need help
If you are drinking, pour your own drink and monitor how intoxicated you are becoming
Have a backup plan in case your initial plan does not work

Know when you get out of a risky situation you are demonstrating to others that you are in control and have your own power. Even if it can be embarrassing to not go along with what other people are doing or wanting from you, protecting yourself makes you someone to be admired by others.

When you get out of a risky situation you are demonstrating that you are in control and have your own power.

Vulnerability

Acknowledging one’s own vulnerability to sexual abuse can be difficult (see How can I recognize risks?). But recognizing this vulnerability is an important component of protection as it can help you be aware of and identify things that may place you at increased risk of being abused.

Recognizing vulnerability can help you be aware of and identify things that may place you at increased risk of being abused.

If having a safety plan can be thought of as the first rule of protection, then having an awareness of vulnerability and risk is the second rule.

Manage vulnerability

Rule one. Have a safety plan
Rule two. Be aware of what can increase vulnerability
Many, if not most, factors that increase one’s vulnerability to sexual abuse cannot be controlled because they are aspects of the person, family, or environment that cannot be changed

Protect yourself away from home

Travel with a buddy and have a safety plan together
Do not be alone with an adult at any time, including coaches, chaperons, or other youth’s parents